Hey everyone and welcome back to more fun with America's favorite Big Brother House Guest, "Evel Dick" Donato! We've kept all of Dick's famous Quotable Quotes from his time in the Big Brother 8 season for you to look back and reminisce about but we're adding new quotes weekly taken from Dick's very own show "The Evel Dick Show" exclusively on Real Super Pass as well as his guest starring role on "House Calls!" So enjoy the new and improved Dick's Quotable Quotes where you can reminisce about the old and laugh along with Dick's brand new quotes for Big Brother 10! Enjoy and remember the newest quotes always appear nearest to the the top of each individal section!
Dick's Quotes from "The Evel Dick Show" (Big Brother 10)
"If Dan had pulled that roulette shit on me in my season, I'd have said fuck you, sat on the block with Jerry and then said fuck you again!"
“If you have a medical marijuana card out here (in California), it’s like a free pass to smoke weed!”
“Reality tv people are like one big happy incestuous family and Fox Reality Channel is where we have our reunions.”
Dick's Quotes from "House Calls" (Big Brother 10)
DICK MENTIONS QUOTABLE QUOTES! (September 4, 2008): "There's this one website that has pages and pages of quotables and I read them and they make ME laugh! I'd forgotten some of that! (some of the things he's said)" THANKS DICK, WE APPRECIATE YOU READING :)
(About Jessie) He looks like the Michelin man; somebody needs to let some air out of him!
(About the jury house): “It’s supposedly a lot more relaxed.I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been there.”
“When you’re on the back of a bull, does it really matter if you’re gay or straight?”
“If you wanted to watch the naked people running around, then you should have watched BB9!”
“This game has had a lot of good and crappy winners.” (wonder which category Dick is in HAHA)
Dick's Quotes from "House Calls" (Big Brother 9) (I'm still catching up on House Calls from Big Brother 9 but I will update here as I go through them )
I thought Tommy Lee was going to be coming into this (conversation) with all the inches and things.
Gretchen: James is a dirty boy!
Dick: “dot.com!”
(Gretchen is wearing a picture of Allison on her head): “Gretchen are you giving Allison a little head there?”
Dick: Did you hear what she said, she said she was sucking off me!
Gretchen: It’s that kind of season!
(About Sheila): “She makes me want to take an ice pick and shove it in my temple every time I hear her voice.”
(About Ryan and Matt’s alliance): “I was expecting them to have a circle jerk or something!”
"My torture is curtailed especially per each individual."
Dick's Quotes from Big Brother 8:
(to feed watchers)
“If you’re watching this, go to your local tavern and get yourself a beer…and a Jager bomb because that’s what I’d do if I could right now!”
"This is a pathetic Showtime show! I’m going to go lie down!”
(playing with some dice by himself) “Damn, if I were always rolling like this, I’d be living in Vegas!” (trying to open chocolate syrup) “Tamper proof is one thing. When you need a fucking jackhammer to get open a bottle of chocolate syrup, that’s fucking ridiculous!”
(regarding Daniele) “I don’t feel like she carried me through competitions. I won my fair share!”
(regarding Jen) “Watching her slowly lose her mind in the house was the highlight of my Summer. It was fucking great.”
“Do you guys think I have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning against Daniele? I don’t think so either!”
“Oh what a Summer, boys and girls…unless you’re Kail! HAHA!”
“The fun’s almost over folks! Then I go back to my regular routine of masturbating!”
“Hey Mom, how did you feel about the question on Jameka calling you a bitch?!”
“How many people in America threw their fucking beers at their tv sets tonight saying ‘What the fuck? That motherfucker won!’…and the Raiders still suck!” “Everybody that turned against us got the axe!”
“I think I will fuck with Zach this week, just like I have with everyone else!” (regarding Jess and Eric): “Do you think he’s hoping for a piece of ass in the sequester house before she heads back to Kansas?”
(to Jameka) “You could go a whole day without having an actual conversation just using those mmhmms”(Jameka’s response: “I didn’t know I did them that much.” )
(After Dick hides Jen’s clothes, following his accusation that she stole his Cigs) "Now I have your clothes and you don't have shit and you can walk out in the smelly rags you're wearing now in your interview with Julie Chen."
“Never a dull moment with Dick."
(To Jen on the newest Jen/Dick Rampage) The only reason you're still here is because you started sucking on
Kail's tit laying in her bed every week.
(regarding Dustin) “He’s like a walking dildo with ears.”
(regarding the people he calls his ‘haters’) “You’re not being Evil, Dick. You’re just being a dick!
(to Jameka) “You and your kind are a hemorrhoid on the Christian faith.”
(Dick after a blow up with Jameka and Amber) “The girls are eventually going to start going after each other…they will start beating each other up with their Bibles.”
(In the storage room) “I believe we will be referring to Dustin as a cocksucker a lot this week, literally and figuratively.”
(Dick says Good Morning to all the HG's.... Dick style....
(watch ALL 7 .. click on the video you want from the side panel to load the new video) Warning!!! Video's contain Extreme Profanity!!! Adult content, and overt discriminatory comments.
(Dick goes out for a cig. after Jessica becomes HOH) “It’s my time to go. I have to make sure Daniele stays…that fucking cocksucker Dustin….”
Amber is called to the DR) “Amber please cry like a little bitch.” (then in Amber voice): “OK, I will.” ( Jen calls Dick out about him always staring at her.) “"Don’t worry I am not staring at you because you are beautiful, its your idiocy. Your idiocy is amazing, how do you fit all of that in one body? " regarding the tension in the house): “It gave me a hemorrhoid, a big fat bleeding hemorrhoid!”
*DQQ #2*(while playing quarters): “I was playing quarters before all of you mother fuc*ers were ever born!” (To himself) “Stop bitching, stop whining, stop complaining! Stop making yourself a target! Focus! Focus! Focus! Sh*t!”
(To Jen during backyard discussion of who would or would not do Playboy/girl)
“In that getup (her unitard), your camel toe has been all over the Internet anyway!”
(to Jen about the DR conversation) “So do you think it was a good idea to tell Jen to go f*ck herself a few hours before she got HOH” (Jen responds “Guess not huh”)
(about Jen) “Like Wonder Woman’s bracelets, you deflect attention off of me and onto you”
(In relating a conversation with Jen to Joe)
“Zach is just swinging from your f**king tits because you’re HOH this week”
“I can’t believe my Dick is my biggest topic of conversation in this house”
“When we get a breeze, I get a hard on” and “While you guys are all asleep at night, I come out here and wack off”
( Dick is sittng on the patio alone by himself smoking when Big Brother says “Jen Please come to the diary room” which causes Dick to go on a rampage of things worth quoting)
“Jen, please roll up your tampons before throwing them away”
"mimics Jen saying ‘if I win this game, it will ruin my life’ then says “what the f**k are you doing here?”
“These girls that think they are so hot and they really are not”
“If he’s going to get Daniele back in his good graces, he needs to stay around a little bit longer” (I believe he’s referring to himself here)
(Eric is called to the diary room) “You’re going to sink right along with Jen”
He points and says “I f**kin told you I was NOT going to be the token 40 year old”
(He goes into the bathroom and he and Dustin talk about tomorrow and how Dick doesn’t want to go to bed early; Dustin talks about being the hairiest man in the house and Dick says) “You ever tried to shave your pubes and then sit down. It’s like sitting on a f**king pin cushion, no thank you!”
(regarding Jen) “ "She’s so far out there, the Space Shuttle couldn'’t even get to her”!"
(warning it’s kind of XXX) "“I don’t shoot my wad all at once, it’s like a long stretch to the finish line”."
(Talking to himself while everyone is at Joe’s Story Time except Dick) "There must be some trouble I can cause somewhere!”Is everyone in there? Give me a fu**ing break” "
(talking to Joe about smoking) “I’d rather masturbate. It’s much more fun and has a lot better outcome in the end”
“I have a son and he came from my balls”
(regarding Eric getting the yellow lawn golf ball out of the pool) "“Eric getting his ball out of the pool! He can’t decide whether it’s his right or left ball but he goes after it regardless!”"
(regarding Dustin and Eric celebrating a victory) "“They are afraid to bump chests for fear they will bump penises!”"
(in reference to his commentating) "“I’m on my 3rd beer, going for my 4th in a minute”"
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